A Reddit user and her partner each have children from separate marriages and were both raised differently. The partner spoils his daughter rotten. So, when she asked her dad to pay for a tour of Europe, he said yes.
She Made Sure Not To Spoil Her Son
The original poster (OP) was a widow of three years before she met her current partner. OP and her late husband made sure not to spoil their son by having him do basic chores and life skills.
For example, OP’s son is responsible for keeping his room clean. He also taught himself how to cook, and he has to save money if he wants expensive purchases, like a car.
And although OP makes good money through her lucrative business and her late husband left their son a substantial estate (including their current house), OP’s son still isn’t spoiled and understands the value of hard work.
The Daughter Is Spoiled Rotten
OP says her partner raised his daughter differently. For instance, when everyone moved into the house that OP’s late husband gave their son, her partner’s daughter “demanded” a particular room because it was one of the biggest.
OP doesn’t know how much her partner spends on his daughter. Aside from splitting the common bills in half, OP and her partner do not know anything about each other’s finances.
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She Asked Her Dad To Pay For A Tour of Europe
OP’s son was planning to do a tour of east Asia. And OP was okay with giving her son money because he got accepted to attend a prestigious college.
When OP’s stepdaughter heard that her son was doing a tour of east Asia, she wanted to do a tour of Europe. The stepdaughter reasons that she didn’t get to make a similar trip after she got into college.
So, she asked her dad to pay for it. And to no surprise, he agreed to pay for her trip.
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Her Partner Couldn’t Afford The Trip On His Own
OP’s partner couldn’t afford the trip on his own. So, he asked to borrow from her about $30,000. OP admitted that the amount was too much, especially since her son’s plane ticket and pocket change were significantly lower.
OP’s refused to lend her partner money because it wasn’t an emergency. And for that reason, OP told her partner that he should save money and pay for a trip after she graduates.
The partner responded by saying OP was “choosing favorites.” The partner also accused her of putting money over “happiness and relationship with his daughter.”
Does She Get An A+ For Parenting?
One Reddit member gave OP an A+ on raising a son who understood the value of hard work. On the other hand, the same user said the daughter felt entitled.
The community points out that the partner instead asks OP for $30,000 instead of being an adult and telling his daughter no.
Is OP wrong for refusing to lend her partner $30,000? Is OP valuing money over the happiness and relationship her partner could receive? What ideas can you recommend teaching this young adult not to be spoiled?